It Was All So Unreal
by TheyAteMyTailor
Summary: Here I was, sitting in the 11th division barracks, with Yumichika, Ikkaku, Zaraki-taichou and all the others, and we were celebrating. Celebrating what? My promotion. I was now the first female in the 11th division to be 4th seat.
1. Chapter 1

All of this was so unreal. Here I was, sitting in the 11th division barracks, with Yumichika, Ikkaku, Zaraki-taichou and all the others, and we were celebrating. Celebrating what? My promotion. I was now the first female in the 11th division to be 4th seat.

I slumped on a chair, dropping my head on the table in front of me and sighed heavily. It wasn't that I was not happy, far from it. What was bothering me was the fact that across the room, there was a very drunk Zaraki-taichou, half-dressed, his hair down and his eye patch off, sparring against whoever was drunk enough not to realize they were actually fighting him full-on.

And gods, that sight turned me on so much. Seeing the muscles from his back or his arms flex when he was swinging down his nameless zanpakutou, or when he was throwing a punch. Seeing his hair stick on his face, neck and upper back because of the sweat.

-Fuuuuuuck… _I moaned. _

I got up and grabbed my zanpakutou before sliding against my back, underneath my shinigami robes. I went outside the room, ignoring Ikkaku's drunken shouts about how he wanted to fight me.

This one-sided love was absolutely unneeded, but still, even after 100 years… I still had butterflies in my stomach when he patted my back harshly, mumbling about how I did well or thanking me for babysitting Yachiru. Surely this could not be healthy…

I placed my hands behind my head and walked towards Yachiru's room, to make sure she was still sleeping and not stealing fish from Kuchiki-taichou's pond. I smiled when I arrived in front of the dull brown door with _Yachiru_ written on it, I quietly opened the door and checked on her.

Seconds after I closed the door, two drunk shinigami passed by me, screaming and laughing out loud. I shot them a glare and told them to shut their mouth before I chop their tongues. It took them a couple seconds to recognize me, but when they did, they slowly nodded before shunpoing away.

I untied my hair and went to my bedroom, I dropped my zanpakutou on my bed and went to take a shower. Luckily, there was no one in the showers, since I had to share public bathrooms with the men of my division. I turned on one of the showers and got undressed.

I sighed in relief when the hot water drenched my body, removing all the dirt or sweat from fighting earlier in the day, and helping me relax. I heard the door open, I immediately covered my body as much as I could with my hands, but then I realized that whoever choose to take a shower, decided to take it far away from me.

I relaxed again and finished to clean my body, I closed the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. I grabbed my discarded shinigami robes off the floor and walked towards the door. Before I reached the door though, I saw something that made me drop both the clothing I held in my hand and the towel around me on the wet floor.

There was a _very _naked Zaraki-taichou in front of me, I stared for a couple seconds and when he realized I was looking, I covered my eyes and whispered ''_Gods… _''.

-Instead of covering ye' eyes, you should cover your body...

I dropped my hand on the side of my body and looked down, I had effectively dropped my towel and I was standing naked as the day I was born in front of my taichou. My face turned as red as my hair and I once again tried to cover my body as much as I could with both of my hands but I slowly looked up when I heard him say…

-Or I might do something stupid…

My eyes became round and big as apples, I quickly grabbed my wet towel and clothes, wrapping the soaked cloth around my body and running to my room.

I threw both the towel and my shinigami robes on the floor and slumped on my bed, with a loud _pouf_. I had a throbbing heat in between my legs but tried to ignore it, still embarrassed about how everything went down.

''_Or I might do something stupid… _''

I moaned when I heard his voice in my head and crossed my legs tightly. My hands lazily made their way to my breasts, squeezing them together. I moaned again and I closed my eyes, just enjoying the slight pain and pleasure. One of my hand left my breast to sluggishly rub the ache between my legs, my toes curled in and my other hand started to abuse of my nipple.

The door opened and I sat up harshly, making eye contact with Kenpachi-taichou, leaning against the closed door with only a towel wrapped around his waist and with a _very _obvious problem. I wrapped one of my arm around my chest to cover my breasts, and I crossed my legs again.

He smiled at me, this wicked grin I love so much, and I felt myself get wetter.

-Taichou, what… -

His lips crushed mine and he roughly pushed my arm from my breasts, his coarse hand painfully massaging my breast. A part of me wanted to push him away, even if I knew I probably wouldn't be able to, but when his knee rubbed between my legs, I lost all coherent thoughts.

I ran one of my hand through his hair, and my other hand somehow ended up rubbing his crotch. He let go of my mouth and groaned loudly next to my ear. I smiled cockily and removed his towel, I started to pump his already erect member and whispered…

-Taichou…

He quickly grabbed my hips, laid down on my bed and dropped me on him, my wetness rubbing against his manhood. I moaned loudly and pressed my hands on his chest, I slowly rubbed myself against him and my fingernails entered his skin, leaving small marks but no blood.

-Call me Kenpachi.

I nodded and without any warnings, he entered me harshly. I moaned loudly and threw my head back, my red hair spilling everywhere. The mix of pain, fullness and pleasure was too much, I came right there, screaming his name in my hand. I slumped on his chest and he started to rock his hips again, I whined at the feeling, it was all too much. He brought my head close to his and crashed his lips harshly on mine, I moaned in his mouth and held myself on his hair as he pounded inside my body.

He put his hands on my butt and I unconsciously started to follow him, my hips moving with his every thrusts, making our kiss sloppy. His mouth went to my neck and he made an harsh bite, I felt the blood trickle down on my chest, I brought my hands to my breasts, smearing my blood on them and holding them tightly.

His hands covered mine and he then bit my shoulder, I cried out and my fingernails scratched my skin, giving me even more pleasure.

-Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuuuuuuck_.

He continued assaulting my neck and shoulder, leaving marks and blood all over my right side, lapping it up at times. He brought one of his hands to my mouth and stuck two fingers inside, I greedily sucked on them as he changed the angle he was pounding at, hitting my cervix over and over.

I threw my head back once again and loudly came, tightening on his manhood. He grunted and bit my neck one last time before coming inside of me.

I slumped on him and looked up, he gave me a small genuine smile, so small and indistinct that if his face wasn't so close to me, I probably wouldn't have realized. I smiled back and took a deep breath, I cuddled myself on him and put my head in the crook of his neck.

What had happened _was so unreal_. Was it only lust? Or was it love?

Hell, I could really care less at this moment. All that mattered to me was the fact that his arms were still wrapped around him and that I fell asleep listening to his shallow breathing.

AN:

_I'm so, so, so sorry for the shitty ending. I suck at endings, really! And I'm not really sure how I ended up writing so _formally_. Anyway, please don't be mad at me, it's my first time writing a lemon in ages, and it's also my first time writing a Kenpachi related fic. So yeah, the lemon ended being a lot smaller than I thought it would, and the impressing thing is that this took me about two hours to write… Yeah. _

_Well, whatever, thanks for reading. :) _


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes slowly flustered open and I lazily looked around, the memories from last night came crashing in and I rubbed my forehead, sitting up in my bed. I carefully looked around and realized I was completely alone.

I got up and half-heartedly looked into the mirror, the marks his teeth left were still there, as well as the blood smeared on my upper body which had dried up by now. I picked up clean shinigami robes and the dirty towel on the floor, wrapped it around me and made my way towards the showers.

I ignored the looks I was given from my comrades, the sigh I got from Yumichika and Ikkaku's questions, I just walked straight to the first empty shower, dropped the towel and placed my shinigami robes away from the water. I turned on the shower and Ikkaku leaned against the wall next to me, he stared at my chest and snickered…

-Someone had some action yesterday night.

I cleaned my hair and rubbed off the dried blood on my chest, I pushed my bangs from my eyes and stared at the ceiling.

-Y'know, everyone can see… -

-Like I actually fucking care, _I growled_.

Zaraki-_taichou_, the man I admired more than anyone else, had slept with me and left without a note or anything. I bit back the tears and turned off the shower, I put on my underwear and wrapped my usual bandage around my chest, to finally put on my shinigami robes. I held my _tabi _and _waraji _in my hands and turned towards Ikkaku.

-Someone got dumped yesterday night, _he stated when he saw my face_.

I stayed silent and walked back to my room, I sat on my bed and put on my _tabi _and _waraji_. I stared at my open door and bit my lower lip.

-What am I thinking. Zaraki-_taichou_ isn't the kind of man who would stay with someone. Of course for him, I was only a… -

-Amaterasu, you are so ugly when you cry.

I looked up and laughed sadly at Yumichika, who entered my room and closed the door behind him. He sat next to me and I wiped my eyes, he dropped his hand on my head and turned me so I would face him, he poked my forehead and smiled.

-_Taichou_ finally made his move, did he?

-If you're talking 'bout having sex with me and leaving without saying anything, yeah, _I said, and he suddenly lost his smile_.

-He's not the kind to stay with a woman, other than Yachiru.

-I know.

He got up and walked towards the door, he opened it and told me before leaving…

-Don't let it ruin you, Amaterasu. You are absolutely horrendous when you're sad.

I laughed as I heard his footsteps get almost inaudible. I grabbed my _zanpakutou_ and slid it underneath my _shihakushō_, I walked out of my room and carefully closed my door. I shunpoed out of the 11th division and slowly walked around _Sereitei_, I finally sat down on the roof of the 4th division barracks and looked up at the sky.

I had been completely aware that Zaraki-_taichou_ wasn't the kind of man who would stay with a woman. Especially not with a woman like me, with my long messy and tangled red hair, my almost non-existent chest and my unnaturally bright blue eyes. Yet, a tiny part inside me had hoped to wake up with him still there, smiling at me.

The pain I felt when I woke up alone, my bed cold and my sheets still bloodied, it was unbearable. I had followed the footsteps of this man, I got wounded fighting for him, and I almost died more than once to protect him, wasn't that enough?

-Of course it isn't, _I sighed_.

I got up and jumped on the ground, I wandered towards _Rukongai_. I passed the gate and walked throughout this place. I somehow ended up in _Inuzuri_ and I tried my best to ignore the whispers and laughs, until a man jumped in front of me.

-Oi, _shinigami._

I silently looked up, he had shoulder-length brown hair, his eyes were a couple shades lighter than his hair and he was taller than me. He grinned and swung down a sword towards me, I dodged it and continued staring at him.

I felt people circle us, the man brought up his sword and let it rest against his shoulder, he looked at me and spit right in front of me. I took a step back and looked down, I sighed and lost myself in my thoughts, remembering how I had been treated exactly the same way when I was younger.

I snapped out of it when I felt a sharp pain on my uncovered arm, I turned my head to look at it and saw blood running down my skin. The man barked a laugh and I surprised myself thinking that his laugh was so similar to my _taichou_'s. Pain hit me another time, I looked down and saw that his sword had pierced my stomach. He barked another laugh and screamed…

-Is that really all _shinigamis_ are capable of?

He ran towards me and I drew out my _zanpakutou_ just in time to block his attack. The large chain usually covering the blade wrapped itself around my wounded arm and I pressed my palm against the hole in my stomach.

-Finally! _he snapped. _About time!

His actions were so much like his, and it troubled me so much that I could barely stop his attacks. I ended up getting even more wounded and he was still untouched. I stuck my _zanpakutou_ in the ground and rested myself against it, blood all over the ground, my own blood…

-Who knew I'd have the luck to kill a _shinigami_!

_Kill_? Was I really going to die like this? By the hands of this pitiful man from _Inuzuri_ who reminded me so much of my _taichou_?

He screamed and launched at me, I clenched the hilt of my _zanpakutou_ and tears streamed down my face.

_Was I really going to die like this? _

_By the hands of this pitiful man? _

_Who reminded me so much of my _taichou_?_

* * *

><p>AN:<p>

_Yes, I know, major cliff-hanger! I'm sorryyyy! Also I'm really sorry this chapter is all _emo _and stuff, but I wasn't actually planning on continuing this so… I got a review (first time ever getting a review, _yeah_! ), and that person asked to continue it so I was like, well why not.. _

_Anyway, I hope you guys like this. I mean, I haven't written a plot line for this so it probably sucks but yeah… I got really excited from getting my first review so I got inspired, hehe. _

_Buh-bye!_


	3. Chapter 3

''_I hate this place. I hate how everyone looked at me. I hate being alone. I hate having to sell my body to be able to eat. I hate everything and everyone… _''

_These had been the exact words I told him when I first met him. I remember he had picked me up and dropped me on his shoulder; he had brought me to this place I now call home, where my love for him grew. My unneeded love, that is… _

_I remember his grin when I became part of the eleventh division. I remember the tears I shed when Yachiru brought him to our _home_ fatally wounded by Kurosaki. I remember the look in his eyes when I jumped in front of him, getting slashed by Kaname. I remember all of this._

_But the thing I remember the most is the genuine smile and congratulations he gave me when I became his fourth seat. _

I watched him run towards me, tears still falling from my eyes and I felt his katana pierce my stomach once again. I dropped my head and smirked, I grabbed the blade of his katana and held it still, immobilizing him.

-As if I'd let _you_ kill me! _I screamed, yanking my head up_.

I clenched his katana harder when he tried to get away, making my hand bleed and contract because of the pain, and whispered…

-_Kyoukou Sorera, Kuraihime_...

I watched the man's eyes change from confident to scared as he watched my _zanpakutou _change into a large black three-bladed scythe. The chain wrapped around my arm became red and it connected to my _zanpakutou_, loosely covering it.

-As if this pain was enough to bring me down. As if these tears were for you. As if you could actually win a battle against the 11th division's 4th seat!

I took out his katana from my stomach and sliced his right shoulder, he backed away because of the pain and I threw a punch at him, hitting him in the face. I watched him fall on the ground and I swung my _zanpakutou _over my head, about to finish him.

-As if you were anything like my _taichou_! _I cried out._

I swung my sword down, only to watch it being blocked by a _zanpakutou_ I had spared against so many times.

-That's enough, Amaterasu, _ordered Ikkaku_.

-Who the hell do you think you are, _I snapped_, jumping in my fight?

-This fight is useless, moron, and if you keep going, you'll die right here, from blood loss.

I rested my sword against my shoulder and turned around, I wiped my eyes and started to walk back towards the gate with Ikkaku next to me. We walked silently for a couple minutes and I slowly became aware of how serious my injuries were. My stomach had been pierced three times, my arms had many slashes, my left hand had a profound cut from side to side and I had a deep wound next to my neck.

I turned to look behind me and realized that I was losing a lot of blood. When I turned back I felt my legs go numb and fell on my knees with my hands against the ground for support. My arms weakened too and I ended up face first on the ground.

The last thing I heard was Ikkaku saying ''Oi, Amaterasu! '' before it went all black.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_

_I'm so sorry for taking so long to update, and this chapter is soooo short, haaa. I thought I would be able to update both this story and the other one I posted (_Trying To Mend Her Broken Heart_) but a lot of things have been happening lately, it's crazy… I'm once again stuck in therapy, on top of that my father decided we should start a family therapy too, and I decided to quit school (not for ever, just for now) _and _I have to find a job in the next 10 days otherwise I'll have debts 'cause my father decided to stop paying my cellphone… Oh, and I forgot, my father thinks ''I'm not able to cut myself from the problems I have'' so he shut down the internet during weekdays. Ugh. (Right now I'm at my mum's, which is why I can post this. ) So yeah, I'm sorry it took so long for me to update, but I will try to put up another chapter this weekend._

_And uh, I'm not too sure about this chapter… It's my first time writing a ''fight scene'' and I tried to think about how Amaterasu would fight someone who _reminds her so much of her taichou_. I hope it's okay? _

_Lastly, Amaterasu's _shikai _command means ''Scare them, _Kuraihime_! '' and _Kuraihime_ means Princess Of The Dark, and I would compare her _shikai _form to Hidan's scythe (from Naruto), except with the handle thicker. _

_So yeah, thanks so much for reading and reviewing, you've got no idea how happy it makes me! _


	4. Chapter 4

_**This chapter is from Kenpachi's point of view.**_

-What the fuck was she thinking, going _there_ alone and fighting like a coward! _I yelled as I was leaning against the wall. _

Ikkaku was standing next to me, the back of his head against the wall and Yumichika was sitting next to Amaterasu's inactive body, his eyes staring at her lifeless face with Yachiru sitting next to him.

-She could've at least told me where she was going, that woman! What the hell was she doing in _Inuzuri _in anyway? She hates that goddamn place!

A scared kid from the 4th division stepped in the room and softly said he had to change Amaterasu's bandages. Yumichika got up with Yachiru and muttered something about Yachiru not needing to see this. She whined about wanting to stay with Amaterasu until she woke up but when she was Yumichika's painful expression, she silently followed him.

The kid carefully removed the sheets that were covering Amaterasu's body and he began to remove her bandages. I looked at her and realized she still had my mark on her, though it looked tiny compared to the big wounds she had on her stomach and arms.

Ikkaku looked away and asked…

-How is she, Hanataro?

-Her… Her wounds are closing, sir… But… But, she has lost a lot of blood and might… Might not make it… I'm… -

I punched the wall I was standing against and yelled a ''_fuck! _'', that Hanataro kid jumped of fright and Ikkaku tensed. I closed my eyes and I heard _that _voice.

-Zaraki-_taichou_, if you cannot contain yourself, I will have to ask you to leave. _said the 4__th__ division captain with her usual smile on her face._

-Whatever, _I barked_.

I turned towards Ikkaku and told him to stay until Yumichika came back, he nodded and I left this damn place. I went back to the 11th division barracks and stopped in my room to grab a bottle of sake before silently making my way to the roof. I sat on the roof and brought the sake bottle to my lips before taking a big gulp of it, I looked at the sky and muttered a ''_fuck_'' under my breath.

If there was one place she hated more than anything in this world, it was _Inuzuri_. It was the only thing she was scared of, from what I knew. It was the only reason why she would tell me ''_no_''. Once, she had to go there for a mission and she just stared at me and barked ''_no way in hell I'm going there, _taichou_. _''. It was not so long after I found her in that bar, barely grown and getting groped by a guy three times her age.

I took another sip of sake as the memories came back, all rushing in my mind.

They were both in a dark corner of the bar, and the man was furiously groping everything he could put his hands on. She barely had any breasts at that time. He moved his mouth to her neck and she turned her head towards me, giving him better access to her flesh and she smiled at me. The kind of desperate smile that makes your heart ache. He removed her skirt in one swift motion and started to unbuckle his pants, she closed her eyes tightly and her smile faded.

I guess the reason why I stepped in at that time was because she reminded me of Yachiru.

I lazily got up from where I was sitting and made my way towards the guy, she opened her eyes and he stopped fumbling with his pants. He turned around and barked ''_what the hell d'you think you're doin'? _'', I could smell the sake from his breath and his cheap cologne. I barked a laugh and grabbed him by the collar and threw him on the other side of the bar. She looked at me with her unnaturally blue eyes and blushed, I laughed again and ran a hand through my hair.

-What's your name, kid? _I asked_.

-Amaterasu. You could have waited for him to finish if you wanted- …

-What the hell are you doin' in this place?

-Uh? What kind of question is that? It's none of business unless- …

-A kid like you shouldn't be doin' stuff like that. Plus, you're barely grown. Look, ye' don't even have boobs yet, _I laughed, pointing her chest_.

-Shut up. Even if I don't have breasts yet, I still need to eat! _she snapped, furrowing her brows. _

_-Oh_, so you don't have any relatives aroun'?

-Of course I don't! If I had, I wouldn't be selling my body to these creeps!

And it's at that time that I picked her up and dropped her on my shoulder, not even bothering asking her to put her skirt back on and I walked out of that bar with her hitting my chest with her small fists, telling me to let go. After a couple steps, I let go of her and she fell on her ass on the ground. She groaned and stared at me, her brows furrowed just like when I had told her she had no boobs.

-What the hell was that for? _she yelled, rubbing her butt as she got up_.

-Ye' told me to let go of you.

She sighed and rubbed her forehead, I laughed and she looked up to me, her eyes dangerously wet.

-Y'know, I hate this place. I hate how everyone looks at me. I hate being alone. I hate having to sell my body to be able to eat. I hate everything and everyone.

I laughed to myself and drank even more sake, what was I doing, remembering all this now? As if those stupid memories would change anything from the fact that she was almost dying, and why the hell was I even caring about whether or not she would die?

-'S not like she was Yachiru… _I muttered to myself. _

I finished the sake bottle in one last sip and I felt someone _shunpo _next to me, I looked up and Yumichika sat next to me.

-Shouldn't you be with Amaterasu, _taichou_? _he asked, his voice strained_.

-Why the fuck would I?

A coarse laugh escaped his mouth and he looked at his knees.

-Because she's the 11th division 4th seat, why else?

-'S not my fault she fought like a coward and ended up losing all her blood.

-'Kaku told me you took it pretty hard when Hanataro said she might not make it.

-'Cause I don't want to have to find another 4th seat.

-Is that all, _taichou_? _he said, looking at me uncertainly_.

I nodded and dropped myself on the roof, now laying down and staring at the grey sky. There was no other reason, finding another 4th seat would be boring as hell.

-Amaterasu told me everything _taichou_.

-As in?

-You two slept together, didn't you?

-Who else would be able to mark her like that? _I laughed_. Of course we had sex.

-And you left her in the morning without saying anything.

-What was I supposed to tell her? ''_Thanks for the fuck_'' ?

-I really shouldn't be saying this, _taichou_, but Amaterasu has been in love with you for quite a while. She took it really bad that you left like that, and she probably went to _Inuzuri _without realizing and fought with someone. You know her more than anyone; she can't fight properly if her emotions are in the way.

I turned toward Yumichika harshly and he got up.

-What the hell are you saying, Amaterasu's in love with me? We were both drunk out of our minds and ended up doing it, that's all.

-Amaterasu didn't drink the whole time we were celebrating her promotion, because she wanted to be able to watch over Yachiru.

-I'm _not _in the mood to play, Yumichika.

-Ask her when she wakes up, _taichou, he said before shunpoing away_.

I clenched the bottle of sake in my hand and it broke from the pressure, I looked at all the small pieces falling from my hand and I barked a ''_fuck_''.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_

_**Oh my God, so much talking in this chapter and flashbacks, haha. I really worked my ass off on this chapter… I tried to make it as perfect as possible, but keep it Kenpachi-ish at the same time. Do you guys have any idea how hard it is to write from Kenpachi's point of view? God! I'm sorry if the narrative parts look too formal but that's just my way to write and I can't really change it… Even if it's from Kenpachi's point of view, haha. **_

_**So, yeah… I'm not too sure about Yumichika in this chapter though… I guess he's a lil' OCC 'cause I really doubt he'd talk to his taichou like that, haha. But I had to use somebody for this role and I really don't see Ikkaku talking about Amaterasu's feelings or even worse… Yachiru, haha. And I picture Amaterasu being friendlier with Yumi than with 'Kaku, 'cause she's a girl. **_

_**Anyway, if you have any advices or thoughts, or whatever, pleaseeeeee post a review! It means the world to me! **_

_**Thanks for reading! **_


	5. Chapter 5

It was all black. I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't see anything. Was this death? If I could, I would have chuckled. What was I saying, I was already dead. I had been dead for a quite an amount of time.

I wanted to feel someone's hand. I wanted to hear someone calling my name. I wanted to see someone smiling and waving at me. I hated this.

I wanted to feel his rough skin against mine, I wanted to hear his coarse voice calling my name, I wanted to see his wicked grin.

I wanted to feel my _katana_ in my hands, I wanted to hear Yachiru calling Ikkaku baldie, I wanted to see Yumichika's stupid perfect bob.

I wanted to feel something.

I wanted to feel somewhat alive.

As alive as a soul could be.

_We're losing her! She… - She's not breathing anymore! Please hang in there, Nakano-san!_

_Death is ugly, Amaterasu._

_Moron, don't you dare die. I won't forgive you if you make Yumi cry…_

_Don't you fucking dare die, kid. Not until we clear up what happened._

_Za… -Zaraki-taichou! Please… Please, you cannot hit Nakano-san while she's… -_

_Taichou!_

_Stay the fuck outta this. Don't you fucking dare die until you explain what the fuck Yumichika meant by she loves you!_

That was my _taichou_'s voice… That was the voice I loved. That stupid arrogant voice, coming out from that stupid arrogant man. That stupid arrogant man I loved.

I wanted to open my eyes and to see him. I wanted to grab his face between my hands and kiss his coarse lips. I wanted to tell him I loved him.

Taichou_. _Taichou_. _Taichou_._

_Stop laying there like a fucking dead fish! _

Taichou_. _Taichou_. _Taichou_._

_Wake up, you coward! _

-_Taichou_, I love you…

My eyes slowly flustered open, I looked around and blinked a couple times. Hanataro was standing next to me, Ikkaku was holding Yumichika against his chest and they both had their eyes towards me and Zaraki-_taichou _was staring at me like if I was wearing my underwear on my head. I painfully and slowly sat up and I smiled lightly to Ikkaku and Yumichika.

-Nakano-san, you shouldn't be sitting up! Your wounds will open up and… -

-Sorry Hanataro, but for once, I'll have to disobey you.

I looked at Zaraki-_taichou_ and my smile turned into a frown.

-What kind of behaviour is that, screaming at me and hitting me while I was passed out, Zaraki-_taichou_?

-What kind of behaviour is that, going to _Inuzuri_ on your own and almost dying, Amaterasu? _he said, mimicking my tone and actions._

-Maybe if you hadn't slept with me and left without saying anything I wouldn't have gone!

-We were both drunk out of our minds… -

-We were not. I was completely sober.

-And we just ended up fucking, that's all.

-Oh. It was only fucking for you?

-Yeah.

-I don't believe you at all.

I looked around and realized Ikkaku, Yumichika and Hanataro had left during our conversation, I turned my head towards _taichou_ again and sighed.

-'Think I care 'bout if you believe me or not?

-They're gone now, _taichou_. Stop lying.

-Oi, watch your mouth, kid, I'm still your _taichou_.

I closed my eyes and laid back down, my hand slowly made its way to my collarbone, where his teeth had sunk in my skin.

-It's the only thing that proves me we really did it, that it wasn't a dream, _I sighed_.

-Uh?

-It was the first time I really felt like if I could let go, and stay in your arms. Yet, when I woke up, you were gone and acting like if nothing ever happened.

-It's 'cause it was only… -

-It's okay, _taichou_, _I murmured, turning my head towards him. _I'm not Yachiru. I know it meant as much to you as it did to me. Please, stop lying, you can see it in my eyes how much it hurts, can you? Just like the day you found me, it's the same smile, isn't it?

I saw his face harden and his fist hit the wall, I laughed lightly as tears streamed down on my face.

-I might not make it, _taichou_. Even if I'm awake now, it doesn't mean the next time I'll close my eyes I will be able to open them, and you know it just as well as I do.

I brought one of my hands to my face to dry my tears but his rough hand clenched mine strongly.

-Don't say that unless you want me to beat you senseless.

-It's the truth though, _I smiled, staring at the ceiling. _

-During the winter war, your wounds were a lot worse than that and you were still standing and fighting.

-It's here, _I said, pointing my heart_, that I'm dying.

That's when he snapped, he grabbed my hand and pulled up my hand so I was facing him, I winced because of the pain and his lips clashed on mine.

-Don't fucking say that, moron, _he snapped when he pulled away_. You're not going anywhere, you're staying with me.

-Stop acting like if you don't love me then! _I screamed, my voice breaking_. Why is it that you even try to hide it? You're Zaraki Kenpachi, _taichou _of the 11th division, as if anyone would try to… -

-One day, I'll die fighting. You won't be able to take it, Amaterasu.

-It'll be hard for Yachiru too, yet you still took her under your wings!

-Yachiru's different! Yachiru's not fucking helplessly in love with me!

-And whose fault is it that I fell in love, huh? You think I woke up one day saying ''Oh yeah, I'll fall in love with my _taichou_ who'll end up dying during a battle because of his crazy fighting habits''? No, I did not! But as long as you are alive, I want to be with you! Everyone dies one day or another, it's not different for us, _shinigamis_. I want to be with you, even if it means watching you die at the end…

He let go of my arm and I fell on the bed , he looked at me and smiled genuinely, just like that time.

-Don't you fucking dare to die before me, then, Amaterasu.

I grinned like a moron and kissed him before adding…

-Don't you fucking dare go easy on me, then, _Kenpachi_.

* * *

><p><em><strong> AN:<br>**_

_**Helloooo guys, haha. I'm so sorry it took me so long to update (I feel like if each of my author's note starts with that… ) but shit happens, so now I'm living at my grandpa's and I do not have internet on my laptop yet so yeah… And um, I got my first ''negative'' review. I mean, I've had worse reviews than what she wrote and she was really civilized and stuff but I realized something, no matter how many positive reviews I get, once I get one negative one I feel like completely deleting my account, haha. I'm a really sensible person so that's probably why I act like this, but anyway. This is the last chapter and I want to thank all of you for sticking with me during this awful fiction, hehe. As I once said, this story was done without a plot line, which is probably why it's so… Mixed up and stuff. I don't think I'll ever rewrite it, 'cause it was just something I did for fun and 'cause I love Kenpachi so fucking much, haha. **_

_**Overall, thanks for sticking with me, for reviewing, adding to your favourites, or adding me to your favourite writers. I really enjoyed reading your thoughts on this, so thank chu :)**_


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